Addiction to Anger

If you feel angry on a regular basis, there's a reason for that and it shouldn't be considered as normal. People may get addicted to different things, including the hormones and the chemical balance related to different emotional states.

In this episode we talk about this very common negative emotion and the consequences of addicting to it.

Listen to the show


You will learn

  • Why people get used to feel angry
  • Why sometimes we may prefer to feel angry, instead of facing our real feelings
  • How we can change the pattern of feeling angry on a regular basis



Today we are going to talk about a very interesting pattern that's actually quite common. I'm talking about the addiction to anger. Yes, you heard that correctly, there is no mistake, people can get addicted to a different type of conditions, emotions, substances. And basically, each emotional state actually has its own hormones and chemical elements. And humans can literally get addicted to those type of hormones and chemical balance, which is related to particular emotions. We talked about addiction to sadness a couple of episodes ago, which is one polarity, also very common. Today, we will talk about the other the opposite polarity, which is more masculine. And this is the polarity of anger. If sadness is the more passive feminine polarity, then anger is the more masculine reaction. And the truth is that actually those patterns are also connected. Very often people may switch between them between sadness or self pity, to anger or blame or judgment. And today, we'll talk more about the pattern of anger, or when we get addicted to feeling angry. And trust me, this is very common. And many people actually have this type of addiction without realizing it. And of course, no one will call themselves I'm addicted to anger, we know that it's not very popular. But what's popular is that actually many people feel angry on a daily basis, or regularly. And actually, those are the cases that we would address in this podcast. So let's try to understand what's the hormonal balance, or what's the chemical balance of feeling angry. When we are angry, we get into what's called fight mode, you know, that we are designed to survive. Our brain is very old. And through evolution, of course, the most important thing has been survival. There is a very popular saying it's a little cliche, I admit, but it's very true. And it's that our brain is not designed to make us happy. It's designed to make us survive. And in order to survive, human beings and all other beings actually need to learn how to do that. And to get into a fight mode is actually something extremely necessary. When we are trapped by something, oh, no, this, this has been a real threat to our lives, for example, dangerous animals or other hostile people, for example, we have been in cases when we are threatened, our life is in danger. And to get into this fight mode means to be able to survive. Nowadays, luckily, we don't have this immediate danger to be killed by animals or other humans, at least for the most part of the world. But our brain works in the same way. Because that's how we have survived so far. And we are getting into this fight mode. Very often, for example, when we need to go to work, and achieve certain results when we need to compete with others. When we are pursuing a dream, very often we get into this fight mode, the mode of achieving things. And I'm not saying this is something bad because actually, this can be very helpful and it can allow us to grow to move forward, to become better, but to be in this fight mode for me People means also to be angry to be frustrated, there is something which I don't like right now. And I'm getting into this fight mode in order to change it. And the fight mode very often comes with the feeling of anger. And anger actually has its own hormones. We know the adrenaline, the cortisol and other chemical reactions that happen in our body, they have a purpose, which is very needed, when we need to be get fast into this survival mode, to run as fast as we can to take fast decisions and so on. But we may also stay too long in this state. And when that happens, actually, this cortisol and adrenaline has a negative impact on our body. And because in nature, if you think about it, certain animal, for example, the antelope hiding from the lion, it's under stress, it's getting into this, it's not so much the fight mode is maybe probably the escape mode. But it's still a high stress, which gets adrenaline, cortisol, stress hormones, and antelope is running as fast as she can. And eventually, she either runs away or not. But after that distress is released, there is actually a very interesting it's kind of like, it was a movie, I believe, on Discovery or something like that, where they show what's happening with animals we have, who have which have been caught by the chaser. And, yeah, it's a very interesting topic, even though it's kind of unpleasant, and I'm a vegetarian. So it's a little difficult for me to talk about those. But if the animal is caught by the chase, or actually, before it dies, it's trembling. In order to release the stress, this is a reaction of the body. If the animal hides or runs away, there will also be a face of trembling, which allows the body to release the stress on a physiological level. But the problem is that with our modern human life, we get into this fight mode, we feel angry about something. But then we stay in this for too long, we don't let it go. We don't have the face of relaxation. It could be like a physical trigger, or sometimes also unemotional, but we don't allow this energy to be released. And at certain point, we literally can get addicted, this becomes our normal state. And the person may say, Okay, I'm really tired, feeling angry all the time. I don't want to be annoyed by this or by, you know, those people. But in reality, their body is addicted. Because there is also another moment here. When you feel constantly angry, you're in this fight more than you have all of those hormones, you get the feeling of being strong. And that's probably the most common secret motivation of why people get constantly or regularly into this state of being angry. It's because it brings the feeling of strength, the adrenaline, the cortisol, they literally put your body in a very strong activated condition. Your muscles are tight, your heart is racing, your blood pressure is high, you are ready to fight or to do something, and it brings you we may say the illusion because it's not always the case. Sometimes it's just the superficial layer of strength. And the other interesting moment here is that if we dig deeper and deeper and deeper, eventually we will reveal a very different sight, which usually is the opposite polarity behind the anger very often Often we have deep sadness. But to feel angry is also a way for us to escape from sadness, or depression or the more passive feminine states and conditions which are considered to be more powerless. If you are depressed or sad, or, you know, in this down emotional state, it's, it may feel very powerless. But if you want to escape from this, you can induce. Usually it's subconsciously, and switch to the other polarity to feel constantly angry or frequently angry and frustrated. And you may get addicted to that. Because first of all, our body gets addicted to everything that we are exposed to, for a long time we just get used to it, it's again a survival mechanism to adapt to learn how to handle and it just accept this as your new normal. And for many people, actually, who are frequently angry. If you dive deeper into how they feel, eventually you will get to their deep sadness. And it doesn't mean that they always recognize this. Sometimes they may In other cases, they may not. There are people who realize this, for example, and they actually recognize the shifts between the sadness and the anger. And there are others who maybe don't pay enough attention to themselves or does not want to recognize this more powerless side of themselves. And they may prefer actually to be angry instead of feeling sad. So this is a very interesting state that needs to be explored. And the answer is always finding the balance. If you switch constantly between sadness and anger, you won't feel happy in one of those conditions, you may have the illusions of being very strong and capable to find other people to achieve whatever you want. But that's just an illusion for your ego. That's not real. And it won't bring you fulfillment into what bring you happiness. And the other thing is that it literally harms your body, those hormones of stress, adrenaline and cortisol, they're supposed to be activated when we need them. Just like with animals who are running away, for example, they need this adrenaline to get stronger to escape, but then it's released. But if we put ourselves constantly in this situation of the animal who is chasing something, or hiding from something, and we never release the stress, it turns into what we call de stress, which is very unhealthy. And actually stress is now the problem, because stress is something temporary, it becomes a problem when it's permanent, which is called distress. And in those cases, if we are regularly feeling angry, annoyed, we have the rise of the those hormones, what happens is that actually we are damaging our bodies. Because when you are in a fighting mode, there are certain systems which are being shut. Imagine the animal running away from the lion or the tiger. They need strength in their muscles, they need to find decisions, or the right direction we really fast. But for example, do they need their immune system to work properly at that particular time? No, they don't. Do they need their stomach and their digestion to work properly? No, not necessarily. When you are trapped and to be eaten, the most important is to survive. And evolution has helped us actually to adapt quite quickly. And when we are under severe stress, there are certain systems of the body of our physiology that are being shut. For example, the immune system is the first one the digestion is the next one. There are other things that also change when we are in stress. And that's okay, as long as it's kind of like a like a temporary situation. But if we are living our lives, or most of our lives in this condition of severe distress, feeling angry all the time getting into the fight mode, feeling like we are, you know, in danger or we are so annoyed by something or someone, what happens is that most of the time, our body is not functioning well. And we have a weak immune system, we may have our immune diseases, problems with our digestion. After that, so many things change in the body, the hormones the way our mind, our brain works. Our bodies are, you know, so connected. And in order to handle with the situation, first of all, we have to admit, we have to admit, are we addicted? Are we used to feel angry, often or most of the time? And if that's the case, we have to dig deeper. Why is that? Do we need this fake belief or feeling of being strong? Why is that? Was there a painful, traumatic situation when we felt very weak, and maybe we have taken the decision no more, never again, I prefer to be angry and always ready, instead of feeling weak and powerless. And of course, if the answers are always personal, it's not something universal. The problem is universal. Many people struggle with this addiction to anger addiction to being into the fight mode. But the reasons can be very different. And of course, we always need to find our own personal reasons and work with them. But the first step, as I said, and I as I have very often reminded you is to bring our awareness to it to admit the truth to open our eyes. After that, everything gets so much easier. And the more aware we are with our patterns, with our behavior, and even more importantly, the reasons behind behaviors and patterns, the more easier it gets actually, to shift them. Take the decision, work with the past trauma, heal, whatever needs to be healed, give ourselves enough time for the process, because of course, it takes time and some readjustments. And it takes certain actions, of course, but eventually, we may live a much happier life. And it's even a much healthier life, if you will, it will allow our bodies to stay fit and strong and balanced for much longer. So that's what I wanted to share with you about the addiction to anger. If you recognize yourself, remember, you are not alone. And if you need any help, or if you have any questions you can, you can always contact me, go to my website, Mars stars dotnet or send me an email to support at Mars thank you so much for joining me, and I'll see you soon. 

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