One of the main things that keeps us stuck and prevents us from having the things we consciously want are our limiting beliefs. Most of them come from our childhood and we are usually so used to them that we don't even pay attention any more.
In this episode you will learn how your limiting beliefs are shaped and what's their impact on your energy, expectations, actions and results. We'll explore the different types of limiting beliefs and what you can do about them.
Listen to the show
You will learn
- the difference between general and personal beliefs
- conscious and subconscious beliefs
- the importance of past events and childhood memories
- how your limiting beliefs affects the results you get
- how to explore and bring awareness to your own beliefs
Hello there friends and welcome to episode number nine. This one is about how limiting beliefs are born and their huge impact. So we're going to talk about two major types of limiting beliefs, the general and the personal, limiting beliefs. And also we are going to explore why they have such a dramatic impact on our life, and actually what happens and how they are created, and also how we can change them. And what's important to know. So this is really a huge theme. It's very popular in the personal development area, because it really does define many things in our lives. Our limiting beliefs are basically negative thoughts about ourselves or about life in general or about something more specific, which we believe are true and they are at the same time not allowed. us to do to have or to be something that we want to be. So let's explore first the two major types general and personal, limiting beliefs. So a general limiting belief would be something which is kind of a universal negative thought. Very often it could be related to our gender or our age, or maybe our nationality. And it sounds something like that. For example, women cannot be successful in career and have a happy family life at the same time. Or it might be even worse like women are not successful in career overall. This may also be something alike. Well, after 50, you are already too old and it's not appropriate to start new things. Or they might be related to help something which is very important than something which we see a lot. For examples, for example, something generalized like all cancer patients die. So, these are beliefs that we have received more from the environment around us. It could be from society, sometimes it could be from the peer group or our family. But those are things that we have heard or we have seen a lot to be discussed. And somehow we accept them to be true, even if we don't have our own experience related to this. themes or this concrete limiting belief. So, those are kind of difficult to define and to work with, because we wouldn't even call them limiting beliefs, we can call them actually truth very often without realizing that this is just a limiting belief we are having. So this is the first step here to recognize the difference and to be able to bring your awareness. So if there are things or thoughts or ideas, which you genuinely believe they are true, and they are also negative, go deeper and explore, because chances are that this is some kind of generalized, a limiting belief. Women can Do this and that or you are too young to know that or for other people to pay attention to you, or at 30 you should already have kids, if not, then forget about it. So very often, those are, as I said, mistaken, to be truth. And, of course, if you make a research, if you explore you would find that, first of all, there are many women, for example, who can be both successful in career and in family life. There are many cancer patients who survive and who are able to have a normal life after that. And of course, at any age, there could be successful people or people who start new things, and that's fine. That's completely okay. So those are the generalized limiting beliefs. The key here is don't make the mistake that they are general truths because this is like usually a big mistake. And the other type of limiting beliefs are the more personalized. So here the difference is that we have had some kind of experience, some kind of event, personal event in the past, which has helped us to create this limiting belief. And very, very often, those events come from our childhood. All the psychologists, psychotherapists, psychoanalysis, many coaches would say, Well, of course there are, childhood is like everything and I honestly agree with this theory because If we are not aware of how our past has shaped our life, our way of thinking it's very difficult to change the present and the future. So, back to our personal limiting beliefs, very often they have been created in our childhood. So this could be a personal story that we have been through this might have been something that we have observed in the family as well. But we have witnessed something, we have been through something. And those are some challenging or difficult situations or sometimes traumas or painful experiences, and they create this limiting belief. So of course, there might be endless examples here. But let's say that you are It's cool. 789 years old, the first few years at school, and there is some kind of class and the teacher asks you something, and you forget about the answer. And at that point, the teacher is very rude or very critical, and he makes you feel like you are stupid, because you couldn't answer his question. And a limiting belief which could be created at that point is that either I'm stupid, or I'm just not good at learning, or this particular subject, let's say maths. It's not for me, it's extremely difficult. I will never get through it. This by the way, is a very common thing which happens for many people and many stupid And kids, there is a situation and you are not at your best at the situation. So, your subconscious mind creates a limiting belief around the situation generalizes it and tells you that you are not good at this area. So just forget about it and this will remain true for the future. A very typical example that happens with many students. Another possibility let's say that you have had a very rude, demanding or even a violent father and you are being treated badly. So subconsciously, you create the limiting belief that men are dangerous or men are rude, or family happiness is just in movies. And novels you don't have this in real life. And here is the trick. Sometimes the event or the situation doesn't have to be that dramatic. It doesn't have to be something that you know, normally you would recognize, oh my god, I have this, you know, demanding and rude father. So yeah, it totally makes sense if I don't believe in happy marriage or happy love. Sometimes those are more insignificant events from our perspective now as grownups. But the important thing is, how did the child feel at that point, and what was the negative thought and the limiting belief that it has adopted. So don't forget to, you know, explore all the possibilities and don't evaluate things just as an adult with all the experience And knowledge that you have at the moment, because things don't work like that. And this is important, sometimes a small situation, if we explore it this an adult has actually had a major impact. And I can give you many examples with that, but something that comes to my mind right now. Something from my life, okay, let's go personnel here. I remember that when I was a child, maybe four or five years old. There was one night when I was at my room with my sister. She's already very small at that point. And I was upset for something. I couldn't fall asleep. So I was crying. My parents were at the living room and they couldn't hear me. So I remember crying, maybe for two hours or something like that. And nobody paid attention to me, they couldn't hear me, nobody came to tell me it's okay or whatever. So after that I explored that I'm sharing with you the short version, but it took a lot of time to go to this truth to the essence of everything. So I have created my subconscious mind have created a limiting belief that it's difficult to attract attention, it's difficult to be noticed. And even more specifically, it's exceptional if somebody pays attention to you and notice your needs. And again, you know, this was not something really bad that my parents have done. I wasn't punished or something. They were not being mean. They just couldn't hear me. That's all and, you know, as an actor, I didn't really think about the situation I have forgotten about it. I got to it After exploring and working with different limitations later on. So obviously this has been transitioned into many other areas. Imagine how would you behave and what would your life look like if you have this limiting belief that it's exceptional somebody to notice me, of course, it affected my personal relationships, my romantic life. And it took me a lot of time to get to the root of all of that. So this is very important. Don't neglect small situations like that. They look small to you right now. But as a child, you have seen them in completely different way. And they may literally shape your life after that. So let's explore Actually why those limiting beliefs have such a major impact on us and why they are so powerful. Here is the truth. Our brain has one major purpose, the purpose of keeping us safe. So it records everything that we've been through since we were born, or maybe even before that as some kind of subconscious memory. So we don't necessarily need to remember every single detail consciously, but the brain records it, and it's trying to protect us in the past. Ghosts are in the future, of course. So what happens is that our brain is constantly making some conclusions. Oh, this is happening. So it's a potential danger. I should record the situation and find out The solution to it. And the other truth about the brain is that it really likes to be right. So, once some kind of conclusion or limiting belief has been created in your mind, after that subconscious mind constantly reassures you that this is absolutely true. So the brain doesn't really like changes, unexpected situations, because this is always a sign there could be a danger and it requires more resources and so on. So, what happens is that once you have created this limiting belief, after that, your energy is different even on an energetical level, you attract similar situations that can affirm this belief or this talk is True after that, also your expectations change even on a subconscious level, and our expectations also shape the events in the situations in our life. So, this is another way in which those limiting beliefs are affecting us. And another point is also that those limiting beliefs shape our actions, and this is crucially important. If you believe that you cannot succeed because you are a woman, you have this background, you will come from this nationality, and you are at that age which is not appropriate. Your actions will be completely different from the actions you would have if for example, you believe that you can succeed at any age as long as you are competent enough and hardworking And you have a genuine desire to help others, for example. So in those two cases, and the two different belief systems, your actions will be completely different because they are also in alignment with your deepest beliefs. So imagine how would one person act and what things they would do if they genuinely believe they deserve to have this, they can be good at that they can succeed. It's one case, right? So, the other point, which I also want to mention is that in many cases, those beliefs are not conscious. So sometimes you may really be able to recognize them. And you know, really define Okay, I really believe Have that at my age, I'm already too old for this and that, for example. But the truth is that very often, you don't have complete awareness. And it comes more from the subconscious mind with the example I gave you, with the story of, you know, being recognized that it's exceptional, you know, if someone pays attention to you and the childhood story that has created that, it was not something I was consciously aware of. And it takes a lot of exploration and personal work to go there and bring the light basically bring your awareness. So keep that in mind. Very, very often, maybe more than 90% of the cases, those limiting beliefs, our subconscious, we don't think about them all. Time and sometimes we don't even recognize them. So here is our gold opportunity, of course, to consciously focus on that and explore it and work on that and try to bring our awareness. And that's the solution actually, of course, the first step is to have clarity. So the way I would advise you to go with this is first of all to concentrate on something specific, either a concrete outcome or result you want to have in your life, or maybe a concrete life area that you would like to improve. So the point is, to be as specific as you can don't go General, okay, what are my beliefs about life? This may take a lot of time and you cannot really, you know, concentrate that much. But instead, let's define something that you want to have. It could be about your health, about relationships, career Money, money is a big theme. And try to find, what do you consciously believe, right now, we always start from the conscious beliefs because it's easier we recognize them. But then you have to explore all your past associations that come to mind, which are related to this topic. And here are a great helper with that work could be using EFT and I have a whole podcast on that it's the previous episode number eight. So I definitely recommend you go check it because this is a very simple tool you can use right now to connect more and deeper to those past experiences and recognize them. Of course, the best thing you can do is to work with a professional consultant and or a coach or another specialist which can guide you. But even on your own, you may still find some important limiting beliefs or negative thoughts which are shaping your life. So, the approaches focus on the area you want to improve or you want to research or see what's happening there and why this happening. then define the conscious beliefs you can recognize you have right now and then start searching for past situations which might have been related to this theme. You use the EFT it calms the nervous system, it can allow some memories to come up in your mind and go deep But see, what was the situation and what could be the belief you have created the depth point. And the only major or at least one of the major challenges in this process is that you might overlook or neglect the importance of events that may seem insignificant. Remember, you're trying to look at them from the perspective of the child or you know the age that you were at that time and how you felt at that point, not how you feel about it right now as a grown up person. And by exploring those limiting beliefs, we can get to the core of so many things in our lives and with EFT there and there is also one more specific variation which I use a lot. This is called matrix to re implant Anything, you can literally work with those beliefs and change them. It's very, very powerful. And it works amazingly. And it may take some time, it doesn't mean that it would happen like you know, immediately and sometimes you might have actually such insightful sessions that really change things around for you. But don't get discouraged if you cannot have this you know, if huge impact from the very first time you try it. As always, consistency is key. And there is also one more variation of limiting beliefs which I want to mention here. So this is something that may come from the transgenerational memory. So what that means is that there might have been a negative event with a family member You don't have to be close to this family member, you don't really have to know them you don't really know need to know their story. But everything that happens with family members is somehow imprinted in the subconscious memory. Just like we have our own individual subconscious memory and subconscious mind. We also have the our family, memory, subconscious memory. And on a more universal level, we also have the general you know, subconscious, which Carl Jung explores a lot but I won't go there right now I want to focus more on the family subconscious memories. So let me give you an example. Let's say that some grandmother that you don't even know or it could be a grant grant Other that you haven't really met in your life had a very traumatic birth, during the labor, for example, she might have died or it was extremely dangerous situation. So what happens at that time is that in the subconscious memory, the family memory, this event is being recorded as something which is really dangerous, you know, and it may sound something like that it's dangerous to have a child or women die during labor, or it's too big risk. And what may happen is that in the next generations, a woman may have reproductive issues, because in the subconscious, transgenerational memory, there is this belief. It doesn't mean that consciously she sees that he or she believes that Or as I said, she doesn't really need to know this woman, but it's being recorded in the subconscious memory. So, I know it may sound very strange and weird if you're new to this stuff, but I have seen this so many times. And it really works like that there is a dangerous or traumatic or risky situation with a family member, and some kind of belief is shaped around this. And later on, it affects the next generations because the main point, the main goal is live to be saved. And the subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe. So if there is a memory and a limiting belief, that's saying something like having a child could kill you. Of course, your subconscious mind would try to protect you In one of the ways is to prevent pregnancy. And the woman may try to have a child consciously. And she really wants that. And she's committed to it, she dreams about it, and yet it doesn't happen. So very often, this is how things work. So, we have our personal limiting beliefs based on our own experiences very often in childhood, but even later in life as grown ups, we might create new limiting beliefs. We also have those family memories, which shape other type of limiting beliefs. And we also have the generalized, which you know, are just very popular and everybody kind of believes them, or at least Many people believe them to be true. So that's why we immediately assumed To be true by default. So I hope it helps you. I hope this information will make you go deeper and explore your own situation and find some insights and be able to really so and improve things in your life. And if you have any questions or if you need any assistance about it, please don't hesitate to contact me. Thank you very much for listening. It was a pleasure for me as always, and I will see you and hear you very soon.