In this episode we'll talk about the different things that we tend to get attached to. We'll describe the difference between healthy desires and attachments.
Some of them are quite obvious and usually we recognize them easily, but there are attachments that we may not even realise we have.
Listen to the show
You will learn
- What is an attachment and how it can control your life
- The most common things you can get attached to
- How to set free from the slavery of attachments
Hello, dear friends, and welcome to this brand new episode in which we are going to talk about something really important. And I would say also fundamental, I'm talking about the things that we are attached to, or our attachments. So that's pretty big, I realize that we are going to talk about some serious patterns. And it's not always easy to change those. But as usual, the first step is to bring our awareness to recognize what's the actual situation. And also to make a decision do we want to change something about it. And some of the things that we can get attached to are pretty logical, and they are not that surprising. And there are also attachments that we don't necessarily recognize. And you'll even be surprised that you're actually attached to those things. And you haven't even recognized that so much. So let's talk about some of those most common attachments. And actually, why it's not good for us to be attached. The first thing I guess, would be to determine what we understand when we say attachment. attachment is not just to want to have something, the attachment means that you must have it no matter what. And you are extremely unhappy without it. Or maybe you even think that you just cannot live without it. And generally, it brings you huge discomfort and frustration when you don't have this particular thing. And it's not the same as wanting something or dreaming about something, it's more about the like the fatality, I should have this no matter what. And also thinking that you are not complete, you're not worth it, or your life doesn't have a meaning. If we have such strong and negative connections and beliefs to the thing that we want to have, then we are attached in a negative way to what, and that's what we should heal and transform. So let's look at the most common things that people get attached to, I guess that somewhere at the top would be our attachment to other people, or the relationships that we have. And there are, I guess, two general directions here. One is in the romantic area, usually our romantic partner or our spouse. And another very common possibility is to be attached to our children. And sometimes it could be the parents, but I think in most cases, those are the children. But the mutual thing is that there is another person or people that we are so attached to that we just don't feel complete without their presence. That's the negative state. And of course, I'm not saying that we should not love our partners or our children. That's absolutely not the point. The point is that if we feel like we are not complete without them, that's the time when we get really attached in an unhealthy way. And that's what we should try to transform. So possessing our partners or the people that we love, trying to control them, trying to protect them no matter what. And of course, if you have to your child, you are supposed to protect them. So that's actually making sense. But if your child is let's say 2025 year old, and you're still trying to protect them and kind of like stop them from making their choices, that's unhealthy. You may offer advice, you may offer support. If you want you can be there in every other way as well. But trying to to control them, and thinking that they kind of like all new in certain way, that's an unhealthy attachment. And usually the antidote for attachments is freedom, liberation, setting free yourself, other people, or whatever the attachment is, that's what we should do. If we truly love someone, we should trust in them, and we should give them freedom. And that means also giving them freedom to make their own mistakes. That's also part of the game called life. And I realized that this can be especially difficult, I guess, especially when it comes to the children part. But if you love someone, you don't want to own them. And you will respect their choices and their right to live their life according to their desires. When it comes to the romantic partner, that's also totally irrelevant. We shouldn't feel like we are not complete without the partner, or that we are not enough. And also, we shouldn't control the people that we love, we, it's just not the healthy also to think that they should be just like us. Very often, this is also part of the picture, to be attached to a certain version that you have of what your partner should be, or look like or behave like and all of that story. So it's a big thing, I realized that it's huge. But if we bring our attention to it, and conscious awareness, we can release so much negative emotions for ourselves, and frankly, even for the people that we love. Again, remember freedom and trust, those are the antidotes. The next big part, or big group of attachments, is related to the material possessions, and specifically to money. Very often, we have the feeling that if we don't have a certain income, amount of savings, properties or personal belongings, we are not unwelded, we are not successful, we are failing. And of course, it's totally true that we do need money to live in the material world to have comfort and all of that. But if you are constantly afraid that you will lose your money, or that you will be a total failure until you get to a certain income. That's when the attachment shows up. And that's what we want to transform and that's unhealthy. So, again, it's totally fine to want more abundance, more prosperity, more money, and resources in your life. But it's the I must have it no matter what mentality that we should transform and also the belief that until we get there we are unworthy or unsuccessful. Because as ironic as it sounds, actually, that's also stopping us from getting where we want to get if we feel like we are unworthy. Before we get this income, it's very difficult actually to get to this income. So releasing the attachment when it comes to money or certain possessions, and also remembering that that's just energy. And it's flowing. And there is an exchange of this energy and there is a balance. And yeah, we shouldn't get attached to it. And again, ironically, when you detach, you will have actually much more abundance in your life. The next element or thing that we tend to get attached to quite often is our physical body. And maybe this is something that we don't necessarily recognize all the time but very often we Have an attachment of what our body is supposed to look like, how beautiful we should be how young we should look like, what's our perfect weight, and all of that. So, obviously, that's very difficult because we are all aging. And the older we get, the more our bodies are changing. And that's again part of our human experience. And if we are attached to what we think the perfect body looks like, or the way we have looked like when we were 20 years old, that's also a recipe for frustration and disappointment and huge pain. So the solution here, and what can help us heal, is to remember that the body is just our temporary costume here on the earth. And we are much more than our bodies. I guess that that's kind of the route that we forget about our so our spiritual part, which is the one that's ageless, which is the one that will keep leaving, and this body is just a temporary temple for our soul. And with that, of course, we should respect the body, we should take good care of it. But we should also give it unconditional love and acceptance, and gracefully a Gen X and accept that it will change just like anything else in life changes. And that's totally fine. So, again, that's a big part of our fulfillment, of releasing, you know, the things that bring us most pain, accepting that your body is here to serve you. And it's great to take care of it. But you shouldn't get attached to a certain version of what you should look like. Because that's changing, and it's normal to change. And again, just remind yourself, okay, that's just temporary. My soul is the one. That's actually the real me. So, yeah, it's a big one, I know. Moving on, the next thing we tend to attach quite often are concrete results. That's very general. And it may apply to different life areas in career when it comes to education, knowledge, and, frankly, any other area, having a concrete result. And being extremely attached, means that you wouldn't accept anything else. And unfortunately, that means that we are also stopping ourselves from having even better things that then we are imagining. So again, it doesn't mean that we should be passive, or we shouldn't define goals or dreams that we are pursuing. But it's the mentality of, I should have that no matter what. And if I don't have it, I'm unworthy, I will be unhappy. That's where the problem is. So again, allow yourself to be more flexible, and bring more freedom, and allow the best things to happen for you in every area. Again, great thing to visualize and to dream. But also always keep this idea of allowing better things to show up for you. And also considering the idea that you don't always know what's best. And very often, from the perspective of time, we can realize that things that we have wanted before. We're actually not the right for us. I know I have been there and I'm pretty sure that every one of us have been there. And just keeping in mind that the best things will happen for you at the best time. And detaching from those results is actually a huge relief and can really help you actually to get closer To those dreams and the best possible results, even those that you haven't necessarily considered. The next part, what we tend to get attached to, is our past. And that's one of those more, I would say surprising things, because well, we don't necessarily realize them, very often we are attached to the past. And that can be a positive past or a negative past. In both cases, it may work. That means either remembering something positive that we have had in the past and trying to recreate this, even though the time is no longer here, and we are supposed to move on. But somehow we keep living in this past. And we keep trying to have this concrete past, whatever that might be a relationship or status or achievement or condition, whatever. That's also very blocking. And the other thing, which may even be more surprising is that very often we can be attached to the painful, difficult past. And that's a big realization, if you can catch yourself doing that. And bring the intention to transform that you can do yourself a huge favor. Because the negative past as weird as it may sound, may also keep us attached, by remembering constantly the pain that we have been through by not willing to forgive and let go. That's very limiting. And that's also a huge attachment. So if you recognize that it's huge, it can really help you to bring the desire to change and transform it. And the last group, the last piece I want to talk about is related to our ideas and beliefs. That's also something which may not be so obvious, but many of us tend to do, having a certain idea or belief and being extremely attached to it. And that means thinking that it's the only way, it's the right way, not accepting another perspective, not even opening your mind to consider another perspective, that's also an attachment. And this one can be pretty tricky, to recognize and to change. But it's also soul liberation, or when we managed to do that. So again, freedom is the main healer, bringing more freedom. And, you know, just allowing your mind to accept different possibilities. That also means allowing other people to have their own ideas, their own beliefs, without bothering you so much without triggering much anger or negative emotional response. That's also huge. And I would also add here, the possibility to change your own ideas and beliefs, especially when they come from your tradition, your ancestors, your you know, early life, very often we stay attached to those beliefs or traditions. And we don't even allow ourselves to explore other possibilities. And that can be huge. Here, of course, we can add the topic of loyalty to family ancestors tradition, and it's huge, that's true. But of course, also, the healing potential of this transformation is that huge as well. So this is a pretty intense topic, I realize that it's also very big. And quite often we may find that we have many attachments. It's not just one thing. Of course, you might also have your favorite one the relationships or the money part or the past. But if we just bring the desire and the pension, even just the intention, to allow ourselves to experience more freedom this can happen A huge positive impact on our life and also on the lives of other people around this. So that was what I wanted to share with you my thoughts on the slavery of attachments and how to experience more freedom by letting them go. Thank you so much for joining me and I will catch you next time.