This podcast is for those of you who constantly take on new responsibilities or you already have too many.
This is a pattern that feels overwhelming. We will discuss what is the core reason for the need to take on more and more responsibilities and what we can do to untie this knot.
Listen to the show
You will learn
- What are the real causes for this pattern
- The connection between responsibilities and control
- Why the core reason can be in your childhood
In this episode, we'll talk about the burden of having too many responsibilities. And it's specifically for those of you who constantly take new responsibilities or just feel like they have too many of those, which are the main reasons why are we having this pattern because it's a pattern. And usually, it creates like long lasting periods. Or sometimes it's even like the story of our life, to feel like we have so many responsibilities for too many things. And it feels overwhelming. And from one site, we want to change it. But somehow, it doesn't work this way. So we will explore what are the real causes, and what we can do about it. So the first thing I find as kind of like, the most important is the connection between responsibilities and control. The more responsibilities you have, the more control you have, generally, that's just a principle. And those responsibilities may include different things regarding different life areas, both in your personal life in your family, when it comes to your work or business. And you may take those responsibilities, you may feel responsible, because that's also giving you a sense of control, control over a particular life situation. And also kind of like a more general feeling of control control that you personally have. Why is this happening? And why is this so important? When you feel like you want to have control, but you don't really have it. That's also a trigger for you to overwhelm yourself with too many responsibilities. And this might be something that's happening subconsciously, you don't necessarily need to have a conscious awareness of this. But here is another universal truth. The outer world is mirroring what's happening inside of us. And it's especially painful and frustrating. In the cases, when you feel overwhelmed with the external world, but you don't see it in yourself, you don't see the reason you don't see the cause within yourself. Those are the cases when something is working through your subconscious mind. So consciously, you say, or you may even complain that you feel overwhelmed. You're tired of being responsible for so many things, and so many people, and yet you are still in this situation. What's happening here is that that's a very common pattern, you just need to have the sense of control. And if you don't recognize it consciously, it will show up in the external world even more. And perhaps you will feel even more trapped or frustrated or annoyed or even angry with how things work. So this is something hugely important that responsibilities are directly related to the desire to have control. And if the external world constantly overwhelms you with more and more responsibilities, this is just mirroring a subconscious need that you have. And usually this need is to have more control.
So, think about it, can you call yourself a controlling person? Some of us are, some of us realize it, others not so much. But if you have too many responsibilities, you want to have control on certain level, it could be subconscious, or you may already be aware of that. So think about it, are you ready to let go? A little bit of this pattern of this desire to have control. And another thing that we may explore is, now that we know that, okay, responsibilities are directly linked to the desire to have control. But why do we want this control in the first place? It's coming from lack of trust. And I'm pretty sure I want to surprise you. But usually it starts from the childhood, the original is somewhere in our childhood experiences. We might have felt betrayed, or lied, or something else which disappoints you. And something which makes you have doubts, and mistrust the world or other people. And because of that, we kind of like embrace this idea that it's much better to have the control in your own hands than to rely on someone else or something else. A possible scenario is also that a child needs to take control too early, or take responsibility too early in their life. And that's usually the case when there's either a missing parent or a parent who is not really capable of being present and taking their role. And this may also create this pattern, that responsibilities are my thing, they have always been my thing. And, again, it's also related to lack of trust, which is totally understandable. If you are supposed to take care of your parent or your siblings, because your parents are not there, or anything in this area, it's normal to feel disappointed in your parents and to feel like you just cannot rely on someone else. Or that, you know, there might be some kind of negative consequences if you allow yourself to rely or trust in someone else. So, again, my friends, we need to explore those early childhood memories, because that's the time when we shape our beliefs about the world. And from there, we take different actions, different approaches. And very often, we may have the desire to have the control in our own hands, because it feels too dangerous to trust. And because of that, after that the responsibilities come right after it. And they are coming more and more and we feel sometimes overwhelmed or consciously we want to change this pattern. So you need to let go of the control, even if it's just a little bit because usually you cannot do it all at once. Usually it's difficult to kind of like switch from one polarity to the other. Or if you switch radically. This is also some kind of escape. So you need to be patient with this process. But you need to work with your desire for control. And you need to learn to trust a little bit more to allow the possibility that something positive may happen. Even if you don't control it like 100% and that can be especially important in our personal life, with our partners, with our families, with our children, to have a little bit more trust in them. And in faith, if you will, in the universe, if you prefer in God, if that's what you like. But to take this burden off your shoulders, just a little bit, and to allow yourself to relax more. And if you give yourself this internal permission, the outer world won't keep calling you all the time, and overwhelming you with more and more responsibilities. So when you change the internal the external world change, that's for sure. So one big thing, pattern connection, is responsibilities and control. Now let's explore another pattern that's also quite common. And it's related to the subconscious desire to be a hero. I'm personally really interested in working with archetypes, I'm working with union psychology, and it's based a lot on the archetypes. The archetypes are, energies which are, and patterns and desires, which are universal, and very ancient. And most of the time, it's subconsciously, we connect to some of those archetypes, and we live through them. And one pretty common is the archetype of the hero, the hero who will be admired, who will be respected, who will feel important and will be considered as important by other people. The hero has many responsibilities. The hero is always busy, always doing things, always pursuing, always improving. And, again, it's quite obvious if we subconsciously want to be heroes, we will constantly overwhelm ourselves with difficult things, including many responsibilities. So take on, like an honest evaluation of your behavior of your motivation. Is there a part of you, that likes to be the hero that likes to do difficult things all the time? Who likes to overwhelm you? Because the idea to be a hero is more important. And very often, you will find that this is also part of you. And, again, here, I don't think that the solution is to radically switch to the opposite polarity.
But the first and most important step is always the conscious awareness, admitting things the way they are recognizing them, embracing them. And from there, you may or may not make a different decision. But again, if you decide to keep going, you will do it with the conscious awareness. And you will do this as a personal choice. It won't feel like it's the external world that's doing it to me, because it never is. And when you recognize, okay, there is a part of me that likes to be the hero. Do I want to keep doing it the same way? And sometimes you may say, Yes, I want to keep doing it. That's more important for me. Or you may realize, okay, I actually want to decrease this a little bit, give myself a little break. allow myself to not be the hero at certain times. Whenever you decide it will be a conscious decision and it feels much Better, even if nothing changes, you will feel different about it. Because you feel like it's a choice. You are not pushed, you're not trapped. And another thing, which is also a pattern and could be related to the burden of having too many responsibilities is having a problem with saying, No. This is quite common for people who have some Virgo energy, sometimes even the Pisces energy might be related. So whether this is your sun, your moon, your rising, sign your South node or whatever other energies. And I'm not saying that the other signs are kind of like immune. That's hardly the case. But if you do have this problem, if you feel like you just cannot say no, it's quite normal also, that at certain point, you will have too many of those responsibilities. So learning to say no, when you want to say it is very important. And it's also a process to kind of like teach other people. But trust me, they learned those lessons, eventually, it might be uncomfortable, it may even be shocking. And here, the important thing is that you can do it in a very gentle and compassionate way. But you may put some boundaries, you may say no, when you don't feel like it, or when you are overwhelmed. Or when you don't feel like that it's for you to do this thing. If you want to do it, I want to recommend you again to start with the smaller things. But this is also one of the reasons why you might find yourself constantly overwhelmed with too many responsibilities. So I hope you'll have found something to think about to explore. And, again, you might decide that you don't want to change this. But when you have the understanding why this is happening. And when you recognize that in a way this is also your choice. This is your choice, not to say no. This is your choice to be the hero. This is your choice to take the control and do things yourself. It will feel different. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you will think about those topics and I will catch you next week.